a beginning..

as it seems recently i've just been able to write longer e-mails. yet i cant write in here. i dont know if its because i have prompting in the e-mails, or if i'm just a bit scared to look dumb here. actually there is only one person i've been able to talk to in e-mails lately, someone who i've never met in the real. but she seems to be a kindred spirit, she seems to be more like me than anyone i've ever met, so she understands a lot of what i have to say. also, we have a common friend that we usually talk about, so subject matter is there a lot. i think it may be because i sometimes try to be different things to different people. scratch that. i try not to let certain people in on some parts of my life, so when i talk to them, i end up leaving a lot out. i've never had someone that i didnt at least keep some part of myself from them. people usually see me as an open book, someone who wears his heart on his sleeve. and i guess that is kinda true. or maybe i'm just fooling them...and fooling myself.