what the...?

i dont know what/how/who/when to feel about chelsea. its such a weird thing. i've never been so attracted to someone both physically and mentally. she is almost perfect, just a few things wrong;1. she doesnt appreciate herself enough. 2. she has a boyfriend3. her parents (i only know what she tells me, i have nothing against her folks myself)4. her schedulethe boyfriend thing is the big one. the rest i can deal with and/or try to help with. i really dont think its ever going to happen. i made her upset tonight. i always feel...off my game, when i'm talking to her. i can never be smoothe around her. i feel like a 12 year old boy asking his first girl on a date or something. i told her about my new york idea...she thought it was a good idea. i was hoping she wouldnt want me to go, but as it seems i'm not as big in her thoughts as she is in mine. which i understand, but i can still be disappointed. i used to be good with girls. i was never sure why, but i was. now, i've been single for 3 months and i havent had a single date yet. i've ALMOST had a few dates, but i am the KING of getting ditched. it sucks.